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Soviet jokes

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Soviet cogitations: 981
Defected to the U.S.S.R.: 08 Aug 2011, 22:59
Ideology: Other Leftist
Komsomol
Post 15 Jun 2013, 20:01
..as told by Reagan himself.
http://youtu.be/mN3z3eSVG7A
(that's a youtube link that i copied from youtube's "Share" function)
Soviet cogitations: 12389
Defected to the U.S.S.R.: 18 Apr 2010, 04:44
Ideology: None
Philosophized
Post 16 Jun 2013, 01:26
I definitely remember Reagan's classic line about, "I've just had the Soviet Union declared illegal in Congress. We begin bombing in 5 minutes."
Miss Strangelove: "You feed giants laxatives so goblins can mine their poop before the gnomes get to it."
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Soviet cogitations: 1276
Defected to the U.S.S.R.: 29 Sep 2011, 13:51
Party Member
Post 27 Jul 2013, 21:26
Thanks for the link! I really enjoyed the jokes. Very entertaining.
Image


My laws shall act more pleasure than command,
And with my prick I'll govern all the land.
Soviet cogitations: 6
Defected to the U.S.S.R.: 22 Sep 2013, 21:09
New Comrade (Say hi & be nice to me!)
Post 22 Sep 2013, 22:32
After I had seen this video, I saw Reagan in a new way. Rather nice man with a great sense of humor.
When I was a kid in the former USSR we would share horrible stories that when was about to die he would push the nuclear button and launch missiles to the USSR and the war would be inevitable.
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Soviet cogitations: 4381
Defected to the U.S.S.R.: 07 Oct 2004, 22:04
Ideology: Marxism-Leninism
Resident Soviet
Post 23 Sep 2013, 11:19
Yes, and this wasn't out of the realm of possibility, given that it took a tv miniseries (The Day After, from 1983) to convince Reagan once and for all that preemptive nuclear war against the USSR was not a real option.
"The thing about capitalism is that it sounds awful on paper and is horrendous in practice. Communism sounds wonderful on paper and when it was put into practice it was done pretty well for what they had to work with." -MiG
Soviet cogitations: 12389
Defected to the U.S.S.R.: 18 Apr 2010, 04:44
Ideology: None
Philosophized
Post 24 Sep 2013, 03:30
I can understand how some younger Soviets of the 80's era had some dissatisfaction with the prevailing culture of the times, and how the West may well have looked like the "realm of exciting possibilities", etc. Certainly, the West did a much better job of presenting the shiny surface of the apple, while concealing its complete and utter rottenness.

But how any modern Russian could look back on 20 years of "shock therapy" and the oligarchization and Putinization of Russia, and then call it a progressive development or a positive improvement completely escapes me.

Let me give you a point of reference: Putin is more popular then he's ever been in America. That's if you count as real Americans his growing number of theo-fascist cheerleaders in the Tea Party, who are thrilled to death about his fascist oppression of gays and his medieval-inspired embrace of the Orthodox Church.
Miss Strangelove: "You feed giants laxatives so goblins can mine their poop before the gnomes get to it."
User avatar
Soviet cogitations: 4381
Defected to the U.S.S.R.: 07 Oct 2004, 22:04
Ideology: Marxism-Leninism
Resident Soviet
Post 24 Sep 2013, 10:51
Order, Putin is not for the 'fascist oppression of gays'. He is formally against the Western inspired funding and promotion of gay rights in Russia. If anything Western 'human rights' organizations, proliferating in Moscow and Petersburg, living off Western money, and protesting and parading according to a Western-devised rubric, are doing more to harm the image of gays than the Kremlin. In all their bluster, they are essentially putting gays into the same category as liberals in the eyes of ordinary people -i.e. a fifth column trying to destroy the motherland.
"The thing about capitalism is that it sounds awful on paper and is horrendous in practice. Communism sounds wonderful on paper and when it was put into practice it was done pretty well for what they had to work with." -MiG
Soviet cogitations: 12389
Defected to the U.S.S.R.: 18 Apr 2010, 04:44
Ideology: None
Philosophized
Post 24 Sep 2013, 11:31
Believe me, Soviet78, I see your point. I just feel that if the centuries long tradition of stupid repression based on antiquated superstitions wasn't still alive in Russia, there'd be no point for the West in bringing up such debates. As much as the cosmopolitan-media-money interests of the West are encouraged by stoking up such flames, Putin draws strength from portraying himself as the noble knight of Mother Russia, risen up to combat them. As usual, the working class bears the burden and pays the price.
Miss Strangelove: "You feed giants laxatives so goblins can mine their poop before the gnomes get to it."
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Soviet cogitations: 4381
Defected to the U.S.S.R.: 07 Oct 2004, 22:04
Ideology: Marxism-Leninism
Resident Soviet
Post 24 Sep 2013, 12:17
But Putin wouldn't be holding this card in his hand if the Western funding and criticism stopped. Russian gays should fight in their own way, without outside influence or politicization. Besides, it was only a very short time ago that gays gained their rights even in Western countries. As someone with a benign view toward the matter, it saddens me to see that these latest outbursts have probably set back the struggle for complete social equality for at least several decades, and angers me to know that once again the Wilsonian streak of liberalism just has to stick its nose into every corner of the globe, no matter how ignorant they are of what's going on there. The idea that gays are somehow severely repressed in Russia is not only wrong; it brings to mind media rhetoric toward the USSR in the 70s or 80s, where people would make comments on life in the USSR without the slightest clue about what was actually going on.
"The thing about capitalism is that it sounds awful on paper and is horrendous in practice. Communism sounds wonderful on paper and when it was put into practice it was done pretty well for what they had to work with." -MiG
Loz
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Soviet cogitations: 11879
Defected to the U.S.S.R.: 06 Dec 2009, 23:17
Philosophized
Post 01 Oct 2013, 22:36
What does it matter what bydlo "patriots" think about gays and human-rights NGOs? They are objectively a good thing.
People breaking out of that provincial-nationalist mentality ( best personified by the Russian "vatnik" meme ) is i'd say maybe even a prerequisite for a proletarian revolution in Russia.
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Soviet cogitations: 4381
Defected to the U.S.S.R.: 07 Oct 2004, 22:04
Ideology: Marxism-Leninism
Resident Soviet
Post 02 Oct 2013, 07:51
The proliferation of 'human rights NGOs' played its role in the destruction of the USSR, and consistently plays its role in the overthrow of independent, anti-Western regimes. Call me a bydlo patriot if you want, but I believe that these NGOs have no positive role to play in the development of my country; if they are preparing the country for revolution, it will be a liberal revolution (or liberal coup d'etat to be more precise).

That provincial nationalist mentality you speak of derisively has a leftist streak in it so wide it's basically embedded at the sub-conscious level in Russian national culture*. It's the reason the October Revolution succeeded, and fused with Marxist ideas, was responsible for all the achievements of Soviet socialism in the 20th century; achievements which even after 25 years of robbery and destructive reform continue to feed and defend the former USSR at some basic level.

*When I say 'Russian' here I mean it in its ideational, not strictly ethnic sense.
"The thing about capitalism is that it sounds awful on paper and is horrendous in practice. Communism sounds wonderful on paper and when it was put into practice it was done pretty well for what they had to work with." -MiG
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Soviet cogitations: 417
Defected to the U.S.S.R.: 15 Nov 2012, 01:18
Komsomol
Post 30 Oct 2013, 01:55
Quote:
best personified by the Russian "vatnik" meme

Global meme now I see
Image
Soviet cogitations: 12389
Defected to the U.S.S.R.: 18 Apr 2010, 04:44
Ideology: None
Philosophized
Post 31 Oct 2013, 01:17
"Vatnik" must be relatively new? I remember "gopnik" and "Uncle Sovok" being well established in the old country when I visited in the later 90's.

What's the essential difference between a vatnik and a gopnik?
Miss Strangelove: "You feed giants laxatives so goblins can mine their poop before the gnomes get to it."
User avatar
Soviet cogitations: 417
Defected to the U.S.S.R.: 15 Nov 2012, 01:18
Komsomol
Post 31 Oct 2013, 03:08
^ Not really related. Vatnik is this guy

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Soviet cogitations: 4381
Defected to the U.S.S.R.: 07 Oct 2004, 22:04
Ideology: Marxism-Leninism
Resident Soviet
Post 31 Oct 2013, 11:46
Sans, it's not the vatnik's fault that he is who he is; his country has been swimming in shit for the last quarter century. Besides, it's not like the mostly liberal revolutionaries who created him are any better in reality; they're just wealthier and more stylish douchebags, whose hearts are usually even more rotten than the vatnik's, and who are ultimately ready to betray everything and everyone for the sake of their lifestyle.
"The thing about capitalism is that it sounds awful on paper and is horrendous in practice. Communism sounds wonderful on paper and when it was put into practice it was done pretty well for what they had to work with." -MiG
User avatar
Soviet cogitations: 417
Defected to the U.S.S.R.: 15 Nov 2012, 01:18
Komsomol
Post 31 Oct 2013, 13:36
Agreed, and yeah vatnik's creators are the douchebags from Drang Nach Osten alongside some liberals and only a few leftists.
Of course the meme has been turned against them too:
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Soviet cogitations: 981
Defected to the U.S.S.R.: 08 Aug 2011, 22:59
Ideology: Other Leftist
Komsomol
Post 02 Nov 2013, 21:51
What is a vatnik? And what is a gopnik? And who's described as Uncle Sovok?
Soviet cogitations: 12389
Defected to the U.S.S.R.: 18 Apr 2010, 04:44
Ideology: None
Philosophized
Post 02 Nov 2013, 22:40
EdvardK wrote:
What is a vatnik? And what is a gopnik? And who's described as Uncle Sovok?

Facebook's Sovok Of The Week page wrote:
Sovok: cheap,always mourning for the good old times, most certainly coming from the former/present communist countries (but not necessarily since Sovok is a state of mind rather than a nationality), loud, obnoxious, fond of dispensing advice, pretentious, in love with causes (either Communist, Saving the Whales, Organic Foods Only, etc.), loves to engage in questionable enterprises with a predictable outcome, etc.


Mighty Wikipedia, repository of all knowledge, subjective and otherwise wrote:
Gopnik (Russian: Го́пник) (plural gopniki, gopota, gopary) is a sub-culture native to Russia and post-Soviet countries, characterized by aggressive behavior, specifically towards the weak, a predilection to the Blat criminal subculture, and abuse of alcohol (specifically beer, vodka and "Jaguar" cocktail). Fashion preferences include Adidas tracksuits and dress shoes. In the winter, a leather jacket and tuque hat (known as "pidorka") are added to a typical Gopnik's attire. Gopniks have been compared to the Chavs, Spides and Neds of the United Kingdom.


I still don't understand the rationale behind Vatnik, so you're on your own with that one.
Miss Strangelove: "You feed giants laxatives so goblins can mine their poop before the gnomes get to it."
User avatar
Soviet cogitations: 981
Defected to the U.S.S.R.: 08 Aug 2011, 22:59
Ideology: Other Leftist
Komsomol
Post 03 Feb 2014, 22:59
Three dogs -- American, Polish, Soviet -- are discussing their lives. The American dog says, "the servants used to leave meat out for me, but now I have to bark for it." The Polish dog says, "What is meat?" The Soviet dog says, "What is bark?"
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