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Dan Quayle

Dan Quayle is so stupid he has a page all to himself, here are some of the stupid things he's said.

"In George Bush you get experience, and with me you get - The Future!" - In Eastern Illinois LA Times, 19 October 1988

"The other day [the President] said, I know you've had some rough times, and I want to do something that will show the nation what faith that I have in you, in your maturity and sense of responsibility. (He paused, then said) Would you like a puppy?" - LA Times, 21 May 1989

"Hawaii has always been a very pivotal role in the Pacific. It is in the Pacific. It is a part of the United States that is an island that is right here." - Hawaii, September 1989

"If we don't succeed, we run the risk of failure." - Speaking to the Phoenix Republican Forum, March 1990

"This president is going to lead us out of this recovery." - At a campaign stop in California and then at CA State University, Fresno (The Quayle Quarterly, Spring/Summer 1992)

"I stand by all the misstatements that I've made." - 17 August 1993

"For NASA, space is still a high priority." - 5 September 1993

"One word sums up probably the responsibility of any vice president, and that one word is 'to be prepared'." - 6 December 1993

"Mars is essentially in the same orbit...Mars is somewhat the same distance from the Sun, which is very important. We have seen pictures where there are canals, we believe, and water. If there is water that means there is oxygen. If oxygen, that means we can breathe." - 11 August 1994

"The Holocaust was an obscene period in our nation's history. I mean in this century's history. But we all lived in this century. I didn't live in this century." - 15 September 1995

"Quite frankly, teachers are the only profession that teach our children." - 18 September 1995

"Illegitimacy is something we should talk about in terms of not having it." - 20 May 1996

"Verbosity leads to unclear, inarticulate things." - 30 November 1996

"We're going to have the best educated American people in the world." - 21 September 1997

"We are ready for any unforeseen event that may or may not occur." - 22 September 1997

"I believe we are on an irreversible trend toward more freedom and democracy - but that could change." - 22 May 1998

"Public speaking is very easy." - 9 October

"What a terrible thing to have lost one's mind, or not to have a mind at all. How true that is." - Trying to win friends while speaking to the United Negro College Fund

"You all look like happy campers to me. Happy campers you are, happy campers you have been, and, as far as I am concerned, happy campers you will always be." - Speaking to American Samoans whose capital Quayle pronounces "Pogo Pogo"

"Getting [cruise missiles] more accurate so that we can have precise precision." - Referring to his legislative work dealing with cruise missiles

"My friends, no matter how rough the road may be, we can and we will, never, never surrender to what is right." - In a speech to the Christian Coalition

"When I have been asked who caused the riots and the killing in LA, my answer has been direct & simple: Who is to blame for the riots? The rioters are to blame. Who is to blame for the killings? The killers are to blame." - Giving an intelligent, in-depth analysis of the LA riots

"Speaking as a man, it's not a woman's issue. Us men are tired of losing our women" - Speaking about breast cancer

"Republicans understand the importance of bondage between a mother and child."

"Welcome to President Bush, Mrs. Bush, and my fellow astronauts."

"I have made good judgments in the past. I have made good judgments in the future."

"The future will be better tomorrow."

"People that are really very weird can get into sensitive positions and have a tremendous impact on history."

"We have a firm commitment to NATO, we are a part of NATO. We have a firm commitment to Europe. We are a part of Europe."

"I am not part of the problem. I am a Republican."

"A low voter turnout is an indication of fewer people going to the polls."

"The American people would not want to know of any misquotes that Dan Quayle may or may not make."

"We're all capable of mistakes, but I do not care to enlighten you on the mistakes we may or may not have made."

"It isn't pollution that's harming the environment. It's the impurities in our air and water that are doing it."

"[It's] time for the human race to enter the solar system."

"I was recently on a tour of Latin America, and the only regret I have was that I didn't study Latin harder in school so I could converse with those people."

"May our nation continue to be the beacon of hope to the world."

"We don't want to go back to tomorrow, we want to go forward."

"I love California, I practically grew up in Phoenix."

"Murphy Brown is doing better than I am. At least she knows she still has a job next year."

"We expect them [Salvadoran officials] to work toward the elimination of human rights."

"El Salvador is a democracy so it's not surprising that there are many voices to be heard here. Yet in my conversations with Salvadorans... I have heard a single voice."

"I want to be Robin to Bush's Batman."

"I feel that this [1981] is my first year, that next year is an election year, that the third year is the mid point and that the fourth year is the last chance I'll have to make a record since the last two years, I'll be a candidate again. Everything I do in those last two years will be posturing for the election. But right now I don't have to do that."

"I was known as the chief grave robber of my state."

"We are leaders of the world of the space program. We have been the leaders of the world of our... of the space program and we're not going to continue where we're going to go, not withstanding the Soviet Union's demise and collapse - the former Soviet Union - we now have independent republics which used to be called the Soviet Union. Space is the next frontier to be explored. And we're going to explore. Think of all the things we rely upon in space today: communications from... Japan, detection of potential ballistic missile attacks. Ballistic missiles are still here. Other nations do have ballistic missiles. How do you think we were able to detect some of the Scud missiles and things like that? Space, reconnaissance, weather, communications - you name it. We use space a lot today."

"The global importance of the Middle East is that it keeps the Near East and the Far East from encroaching on each other."

"[The U.S. victory in Gulf war was a] stirring victory for the forces of aggression."

"The best thing about rain forests is they never suffer from drought."

"Our party has been accused of fooling the public by calling tax increases 'revenue enhancement.' Not so. No one was fooled."

"People are not homeless if they're sleeping in the streets of their own hometowns."

"Republicans have been accused of abandoning the poor. It's the other way around. They never vote for us."

"Bank failures are caused by depositors who don't deposit enough money to cover losses due to mismanagement."

"Air travel efficiency would improve if more travellers started going to less popular places."

"I deserve respect for the things I did not do."

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